spread words on wind

lights are sparkling in the distance
as i watch out over the night
the falls are violently wooshing into
whirlpools
carving wear on rock

where
in all those lights
in all those homes across the river
across the country
where is the help
where is the why
and the questions
and how
how could we sit idly by and let people so
incredibly trusting and
lovely, inviting and sweet

stand by
let advantage be taken
of this beautifully peaceful people
with knowledge from today comes
sadness and pain
residual feelings of distrust
anger and resentment
why would anyone do this
or not to something to stop this
oppression
assimilation
destruction of lives

feeling lost in these emotions
becoming overwhelmed by knowledge of
past indescretions of people to whom
I was born to
ingoring things in plain sight
or allowing rights of people
to be pressed under foot or shoved
in corners
while colour
or lack there of stansds on top
winning some kind of race
race

i am ashamed
guilty by association
saddened and crying

please wake up to the cries
so what, they're not as loud now
they are here, worthy
and present
grieving and mourning
sharing
the loss of so many important rights
life
choice
love
compassion
taking all for granted
we do as we sit in ignorant white
boxes, ignoring the plight around our
scattered flight

we cannot allow this to be forgotten
or placed behind embarassed curtains
the need is great
for education
spread words on wind
across the lands
we will not allow such treachery
and blood on our hands
anymore

instill compassion and love
guidance and trust
regain our credibility
be honourable
advocate because
its
your
duty
as a Canadian
as an educated person
to right your wrong

Behind the curtains curtains...

I've struggled all my life
with feelings of inadequacy but only in certain moments of life
where i meet unknown
where i am accepted, i am strong
willed
loud
powerful, i try to be
every time i tip toe into
deep waters of new territory
there's struggle of learning
where fitting in might be
nervous and shy
paranoid and terrified of what
others might think of me
have i opened up too much
not enough
there always seems to be a wall up
for most that won't accept
or let me feel free to express myself

the others, like me
seem open
and the others others have opened freely to them as such
but not to me
qualities not exuded from me
put people on edge, i think
me
sitting back, listening, figuring
out
scared of thoughts in their heads
how do they feel about me
likely thinking about shy girl
not a  priority
dealing with lifes' challenges and own
situations has people's thoughts set adrift
but
fuck
here i sit, scared as shit
feeling alone and unwanted, unasked
and different from all the rest
no one has said anything to lead me to believe
just uninvited
behind a wall of curtains curtains
shielding me from becoming more
until they ask for something more
until I'm freed from
the drape of insecurity
that blocks feelings of trust
friendships from blooming
and life from living
i just can't come out though
until the invitation has been given
too much hurt has been there
lies have been there
too much pain has settled
behind those sheers of armour
protection from words of
daggers whispered in
secret conversations
i wait
until someone opens the door to my fears
and invites me in to theirs
i wait

back to me

splish splashing about in my half nakedness
two others unknown watching from
warm spaces
indulging here i am
in glory, guilty happiness
quickly fleeting as time passes
wishing this space in time would
not cease to exist here i already
sit so
far away from that moment
away from that time of floaty
freeing, moving about like
dolphins in movies
splashing, whale like
no doubt
cares behind me
momentarily while i'm
free for a moment
while my body forgets who i am now
my mind drifts through waves of
wanting to remember this moment
remembering moments past when
splish sploshing, being free
of weighted children
pulling at my sense of gravity
or buoyancy
up and down through waters warm
head standing, eyes open not really
seeing anything
propelling through the water like
bullets from guns
i am so fast and light and lovely
swimmingly forgetting me
longing for time to cease and hold
me in these moments forever
broken is time in chunks
passing quickly
without control, in losing control
in losing pieces of self along the
way
in this moment i breathe in
feeling free, remembering
i must come
back to me
eventually

The Rock, in my journey...

You
are amazing
always there
present
willing to
lend hands of any
work
as much as necessary
never impeding
always
gently offering
bringing support
love
kindness

strong with a
bold personality
not shy
always feel comfortable
so lucky to have
you
to have had you in
my life

a privileged life
i see some lead
but i
SO much so
with having you here
at my side as
i
need
require
hugs or tears
laughs
there have been
so many at your side
by your side
in your home
over time and
with time on our heels
needing you to
know how incredibly
much
YOU
meant to me
mean to me

not many
not any others have
been listeners
the way you have
with your nonjudgmental
ways
kindness and comfort
i feel trust in you
i open to you
can't say that
has happened with
other kin like you

calmness
love
beauty i adore
hero
a look up to woman
who i always wanted
to
be likened to
persevering like
no other, with quick wit
and strong roots
like trees
laughing
crying
shit jokes at sleepovers
more laughing
until we
were crying
there is no other like you
so fortunate
i am
thanking you