waiting on Thursday

becoming so entrenched in this
i am so tired i can't see
can't see the pain you feel

i know i should
knowing you would
would try to be as caring as
you could
i can't
feeling stuck and pulled down into
the water
wanting to drown
its hurting to stay above
almost every moment hurts to
continue and know
tomorrow will be the same as today
until Thursday

what the hell does this say about
me
what kind of person would i be
i care, i love, i really do
i know that you can't do anything
but be, right now in this place
where you'd rather be anywhere
else

i remind myself, knowingly of all
the reasons
it still doesn't stop this hardness
feeling so helpless
with so much that needs to be done
and nothing we can do
but wait for Thursday and hope
things get better soon

i love you so much
I'm so sorry i feel this way
and want to take it away but
I'm tired
and i can't
i must feel to move on
with tomorrow
and try desperately to
embrace the new day